Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
