I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
