dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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