based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
