I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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