I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
