Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
don't judge my taste in strippers
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
