She said her name was "party"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
