I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
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