Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
