I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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