Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
