My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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