i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
