i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
