Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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