jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
