I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
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I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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