Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
please don't ironically join a cult
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