Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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