; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
