This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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