You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if you like me you must not know who I am
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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