this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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