Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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