He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
