i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
