real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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