Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
