I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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