Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
