Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
