He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
