I'm so fucking centered right now
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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