Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
