you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize