Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize