Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
