What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
