My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it's like iHOP with fire
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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