i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
