K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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