He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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