Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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