Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
