I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize