Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
