she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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