hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Welp...herpes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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