Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I love having hate sex.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
pray to the hookup gods
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
