R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
