my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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