The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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