Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
