These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
