So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
