they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he thought i was a dude.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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