I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
