I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
