i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
