So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
