Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
