I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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