I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
