no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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