waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
