My hand turned me down
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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