I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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