We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
