Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
its not stalking. its research.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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