whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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